


Habits

by KatyasDeadDad



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: M/M, Shameless Smut, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:22:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24892321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatyasDeadDad/pseuds/KatyasDeadDad
Summary: Messy smut with a pinch of sad backstory.
Relationships: Sharon Needles/Alaska Thunderfuck 5000
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	Habits

_You're gone and I got to stay high, all the time. To keep you off my mind._ **_-habits._ **

**_~~~~_ **

Aaron looked at himself in the mirror with peeled paint and cracked glass. It was old. Chad wanted to throw it away, Aaron had lied and said it was a relative's old mirror from the 20s. It wasn't. It was a piece of shit expensive garbage mirror that Justin had wanted for so long, one that he kept seeing in a vintage store. The first thing Aaron did with his winner money, was to buy it.

It meant a lot to him.

Justin would sit in front of it for an hour and twenty minutes, carefully doing his drag makeup with Cerrone in his lap. Aaron remembered the time so specifically because it was the same thing every time, 80 minutes.

It was double the amount of time that it took to become Sharon Needles, winner of season 4 of RuPaul's drag race. Honestly, it was a title that he wanted to throw into the wall and shatter into pieces sometimes.

Not because of the fame, Aaron _loved_ the fame. But because it ruined the one thing he had going in life. Because it made him lose the sight of his future. Or that's what he told himself, because it was much easier to blame something else than himself.

_He missed Justin._

_~•~•~_

"Sharon, could you pass me the red eyeshadow?" Alaska had asked, waving with her hand towards the small plastic contained that laid in their shared cluster of makeup and hair products scattered over the long desk.

Without a word, Sharon pushed it to the side for the blonde queen to take. She watched herself in the mirror, touching her lipstick for good measure, but her eyes always glanced over to the beautiful drag queen next to her. The person who had been her number one at all times, just three years ago.

She was dressed as a cat for Halloween. Of course she was.

Sharon was dressed as zombie, or something like it. With fake blood and ridiculously stacked eyelashes.

"So we're doing that Toxic remix, right?" She asked her coworker as she glued on the last set of lashes.

"Actually.. I was thinking of it last night." Alaska trailed with one of those smirks that just were so _Justin._ "Do you remember the old days of Tainted Love? God I heard it on the radio, and I miss that song. Do you still remember the lyrics to it?"

"Of course I do, don't be stupid." Sharon snorted. She remembered those days clearly, and it actually kind of hurt. The two drag queens in small Pittsburgh had been either drunk or high, or both, and performed to a very sexual performance of tainted love.

Maybe the lyrics were worse though. They were obviously about painful love, and in the short period she had to realise it, she almost hoped that it was about her. Because maybe that meant that Justin still cared.

But why would he?

Aaron had cheated, multiple times, and then dated the person he cheated with. Justin made it very clear that he had moved own.

"I'd love to perform to tainted love." She gave her a soft smile, bumping into her shoulder before getting back to fixing her makeup.

The performance was a mess. Not visually, it couldn't have been a better performance visually. But mentally, Sharon felt like throwing up or crying, or preferably both at the same time.

They were touchy, like always. Sharon threw jokes at Alaska that landed well, but every time certain lines came.. Alaska locked her brown contacts with Sharon's and everything just felt like it fell apart. Justin did still care.

Aaron had never rushed that fast to get out of drag and pack up his things, only to rush into a cab and go back to the hotel. The air around Justin was too thick to breathe, the glow he had after every show too bright for Aaron's eyes.

The hotel room felt like a release, an escape, but also like a heavy prison of thoughts. He didn't have Chad to distract him, though that probably wouldn't have help.

" _Why did I let him go?"_ It was a simple sentence, but it echoed loudly on his mind as he tried to comprehend his own thoughts. He was still in love with Justin, and maybe, _maybe,_ after today he knew that Justin at least felt something.

It could have been a coincidence, but the way Alaska looked at Sharon.. it wasn't. And it made sense because it was after all, Sharon that ruined it. Sharon Needles. The fame and attention that Sharon got ruined Justin and Aaron's relationship.

His fingers slid across the screen as he picked his phone up, a shaking pain of doubt and anxiety welling up inside of him. It felt swallowing, and so hollow.

_'_ **_We need to talk._ ** _'_

Aaron sighed shakily, closing his eyes as he threw the phone back on the bed. He took a breath before slowly walking back and checking it. No answer. He must have checked it at least ten times until he gave up, but not without the itching desire to look at it again.

He really wanted to check it.

It had been exactly 38 minutes, with no reply. Justin always replied within 5.

 _"Shit."_ He sighed, running a hand over his face and squeezing his jaw. What if he had ruined his one good friendship with the only person he could tolerate?"

Then it came. Like a blessing from god. Even though Aaron wasn't religious, it truly felt like he could get on his knees and pray in this specific moment. A knock on the door. He wanted to hesitate at first, reflect on the likelihood of it actually being his ex lover, but there was too much tension in the air that could be released with the simple action of opening it. So he did.

"Hi, Aaron." Justin looked almost exactly like he did 7 years ago when he knocked on Aaron's door for the first time. But the skinny bow-legged creature was not that anymore, he was stronger. Had gained weight, and held himself with much more precision and pride than that boy he had met back in 2009.

He was still just about half an inch taller than Aaron in those stupid clonky shoes, and the blonde knew that Justin would be shorter if he'd taken off the shoes he'd kept for all these years.

"Oh sorry." He shook his head to get himself together after a second of just staring at Justin. "Come in."

It was awkward, really. Justin sat down on the hotel bed with messy red sheets, and Aaron couldn't help but remember how Justin had made the bed every morning that they lived together.

"So?"

"So..?"

"You asked to talk." Justin chuckled with that same nasally grin he always had on.

"Oh right.. uh.." Aaron began, but was cut off.

"I'm not stupid, Noodles. I know what you want to talk about." Justin scooted over in the double bed, patting the space next to him which Aaron instantly sat down on.

"I just.. why?"

"Because I don't know.. I guess I just wanted a message across..."

"Did I.. did I really hurt you that much?"

"You know, I only stayed sober because I almost died from all that shit when we broke up." Justin exhaled shakily. "I'd get drunk or high all the time, just to keep you off my mind."

"I'm sorry."

"You should be."

Then they sat in a thick and awkward silence, eyes painfully avoiding each other and knees brought as far apart as possible. There was no touching, because skin upon skin could have been a deadly mix. Justin was the first to break the five minute long silence.

"Do you have any weed?"

"Of course." Aaron got up, getting one of the pre-rolled joints he had gotten for tomorrow's show. He'd probably need it more tomorrow, but this felt more important. He pushed it in between his injected lips, knowing that Justin never liked the first hits.

' _They're overwhelming'_ he'd say.

"The show was nice, though. I liked your costume." Justin let go of a heavy sigh that seemed to have been kept in all too long.

"Thank you. I'm thinking of going as Dracula tomorrow."

"I'm still going as a cat." He chuckled, and then silence fell again. Only that this time it wasn't awkward or painful, it was actually quite soothing. Because it was just them occasionally passing the joint to each other with a small comment that was replied to with a laugh or smile.

Aaron had missed that.

He had missed being curled up in blankets on the couch, with Cerrone between them and the rain shattering against the windows. The joints passed, golden girls buzzing in the background on low volume as they just enjoyed each other's company. It was a ritual, almost.

A weekly routine.

And as a ritual, it felt sacred to Aaron.

"I love you." Justin breathed out after the comfort lifted. Aaron looked at him with certain uncertainty, trying to study whatever emotion was on his past lover's face. "I'm sorry. I-"

"I love you too." It was a blunt response, one that opened for the situation that somehow ended up with his lips on Justin's.

The kiss was instantly deep and passionate, with tongues pushing and gently dragging in loving maturity. Aaron was quick to take the lead, his hand resting tightly on Justin's hip as he pushed the other one down against the bed. He got on top, deepening the kiss with a small groan against the other's lips.

His lips trailed down to Justin's neck, sloppily kissing and nibbling on sensitive skin to leave the marks he had missed so much.

"What about Chad?" The overwhelmed Male had stuttered, with Aaron's hand trailing under his shirt.

"Fuck Chad." Aaron growled in response, tugging on the black shirt material. "Take it off."

The shirt was thrown somewhere off into a corner, it didn't matter where. All that mattered was the fact that Aaron's lips trailed down Justin's body, leaving marks and hickeys as he went. His soft warm fingers pushed against Justin's sensitive nipple, twisting and tugging gently until he earned a soft moan from the man beneath him.

The position was quickly switched to one that was the two standing up together, holding on to lustful bodies as their tongues fought in a passionate dance. Aaron's belt landed far away on the floor with a thud, Justin eagerly pulling his jeans down which were stepped out of.

Aaron's fingers pushed through the dark hair of the man before him as he gently pushed him down, an act that was quickly obeyed. It felt surreal, this whole thing.

Justin, with a smirk, began palming the large bulge forming against the white boxers. His tongue strayed against the dry material as he ran it up and down against the clothed erection, earning an impatient groan from Aaron.

He always loved that, teasing him.

"So impatient." He cooed, swiftly pulling down the underwear. His fingers wrapped around the throbbing erection with a light squeeze before his tongue slid a long streak from the base to the tip. Aaron groaned, with a heavy sigh.

Justin easily took half of it in his mouth instantly, dutifully sucking slowly with a curving movement of his head. His fingers snuck over to fondle Aaron's balls while he took his ex deeper and faster, gradually.

The standing man was in pure bliss over the warm mouth that sucked him off as hard as always, not being able to help but guide him down deeper.

The movement became much faster, and Aaron realised that he'd finish early of this kept on going.

"Up." It was a quick command once he had pulled away, regretfully so.

Justin undid his own lower body of clothes within seconds, earning an eager chuckle.

"You have lube, right?" There was no need to ask Aaron for condoms, he knew he was clean.

"Of course." He hummed in response, going back to go through one of the small leather bags he always brought with him.

Justin laid back on the bed, his hand gently wrapping around his own length and letting out a hiss once he felt his touch starved he really was.

Aaron chuckled and got on top of Justin again, lips leaving small kisses on flushed skin whilst his fingers worked to coat themselves in lube. He started with one, raising a brow in surprise when he felt how tight Justin really was. It was petty, but he had expected other things.

The man beneath him let out a soft moan, bucking his hips slightly at the sensation of a moving finger that soon became two. Aaron curved them just well to hit the needed spots, twisting and scissoring them to stretch him out.

Justin felt himself go weak, flushed. _Desiring._ He needed more, he needed the feeling of Aaron filling him up and rocking his hips until their skin slapped together, he needed _him._

"Just fuck me already." He whined.

"Still such a brat I see."

" _Aaron."_

"Fine fine, calm down." His raspy smokers voice let out a chuckle as he lazily wiped his fingers on his cock to cover it with the leftover lube.

Justin's body still tensed so sweetly at the feeling of his head against his entrance, even after these years. Aaron slowly pushed himself inside, letting out a groan at the feeling of how tightly he wrapped around him. He began moving his hips to thrust slowly, experimenting with what could work. He didn't want to hurt Justin. Even if the man laid there as masochistically as ever, he wanted to be careful. This meant so much more than just a quick fuck.

Aaron bent down over Justin, one arm resting on the elbow beside his head, the other hand working to touch every single inch of his body. He placed small kisses from the neck, trailing up to his jaw, back behind his ear and to his collarbone. All while increasing the speed and force of his thrusts.

Justin quickly became a moaning mess below him, squirming as delicately as always. Aaron could see how close he was already, so he reached his hand down to wrap around the aching member and gave it four quick strokes, Justin finishing against his hand. He followed shortly, but not without a few more hard thrusts and eyes closed in the purpose of savouring this memory.

This had been _his_ Justin, but that was no more.


End file.
